The Incompetent Taxi Driver

The driver of the taxi doesn’t know where the Pyramids are one of the wonders of the world Cairo’s no. 1 attraction, so he’s stopped for directions and he asks this guy and this guy tells him where to go.

More car horns, dust, fumes.

He stops outside the Hotel Pyramisa and he turns and he says to us

Here?

No.

He calls over another driver. This other driver, he asks us where we want to go and we say the Pyramids.

Ahhhh.

He dispenses more instructions.

At a busy intersection.

A man jumps in the passenger seat.

You’re going to the Pyramids? Mind if I ride with you? I’m on my way to work there.

Sure.

You want horse ride? Camel ride? Very cheap, very cheap.

No thanks.

Very cheap, very cheap.

No thanks.

You want to go first entrance or second?

First.

But second better!

First.

A pause.

Where you from? You want horse ride? Camel ride? Very cheap! Very cheap!

We just want to walk. First entrance please.

Ok, ok. I tell him where to go. Have a nice day.

He jumps out at the same intersection he jumped in at.

Our driver stops for others and they all lean through the window and they ask

Horse ride? Camel ride? Where you stay?

No no no no no.

IMG_1119

Now we’re outside a small gate and we can see the Pyramids behind it through the grey smog but I’m sure I’m certain this is Not the main entrance. There are no coaches no buses no tour groups.

Guys lean in through the window

Horse ride? Camel ride?

NO.

Why not?

We want main entrance. This is not main entrance.

Main entrance is closed today.

No it isn’t.

Yes closed!

Words are exchanged.

We’re back at the busy intersection.

Our driver slows for more touts to lean in through the window

Where you want to go?

Just go. Drive. Now.

We’re there actually there at the main entrance. I’m stressed annoyed fed up. The number on the meter is twice as much as it should be and he wants a tip as well.

We’re speechless.

I try to use an expired student card to get discount at the gate and the guy behind the counter, he looks at it me like a piece of shit he’s just stepped in and he says

Bullshit.

And I smile at the irony.

IMG_1107
Inside.

The Pyramids are massive magnificent old. Everything is hazy but it is bright almost too bright I have to squint. They are amazing and as I stand there craning my neck upwards with my mouth hanging open trying to imagine I hear a voice behind me

Horse ride? Camel ride?

Ignore ignore ignore.

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